Is it filled with sentimental decorations from the past or contemporary ornaments and lights that you saw on Pinterest?
Whatever you do with your Christmas tree, avoid any and all of the following twelve ornaments and decorations while Christmas shopping on Amazon.
They could make for lots of laughs at the White Elephant or a gag gift for a gift exchange. But put them on your traditional tree or trendy tree will quickly turn into a totally tacky Christmas tree!
1) Angry Birds Wearing a Santa Hat:Angry Birds is a wildly popular game that can be found on just about every smartphone and tablet on the planet. Most people are embarrassed to admit how much time they spend flinging birds into buildings. But place this ornament on your tree and you’ll face years of shame and embarrassment from your friends … and rightfully so.
2) A Christmas Story Leg Lamp: The classic 80′s holiday movie is etched in the minds of millions of people as a classic. The Red Ryder BB gun, the frozen pole and the Leg Lamp are iconic moments in The Christmas Story. But bringing the Leg Lamp ornament onto your tree makes you a bigger joke than Ralphie’s dad when he displayed the lamp on the living room table. Why? Because the fictional character didn’t know better, and you do.
3) Farting Santa Butt: This one should not need any explanation or any bit of reasoning to avoid this ornament. And yes, he actually makes farting noises … a farting song really … Deck the Halls … there you have it. There’s 49 farting Santa decorations to choose from.
4) Bud Light 24-Can Hanging Lights: Get this strand of lights, and you might as well adapt the old drinking song into a family Christmas jingle. “24 bottles of beer on the tree, 24 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, 23 bottles of beer on the tree”. If Bud Light is not your beer of choice, there’s a huge selection of Beer Christmas Ornaments.
5) Asian Fusion Sushi Roll: Even if you eat sushi everyday, what would possess a person to buy an ornament like this and actually put it on their tree? And if you’re not into sushi, there are thousands of other food items you could put on your own Christmas tree. You shouldn’t, but you could.
6) Potty Training Boy: Some people buy new ornaments each year to celebrate a milestone or accomplishment. If there’s a wedding, a couple buys an “Our First Christmas Together” ornament. If a baby is born and this is the child’s first Christmas, there’s a keepsake ornament for that. But buying an ornament to commemorate your child’s mastery of passing bowel movements in the toilet is a little strange. Even stranger is personalizing it. (And yes there is a girl one too).
7) Social Network Phones: As if the smartphone doesn’t distract family members from one another throughout the year already, now there’s an ornament to commemorate that. We love our gadgets and social media as much as the next guy, but this feels a little sacrilegious.
8) Lucky Devil Head: Nothing says Christmas like … Satan. Really? Hanging a devil’s head, lucky or unlucky, on your Christmas tress seems like an invitation to be struck by lightening, have your home engulfed in an earthquake, and get swarmed by locusts and frogs. But that’s just our opinion.
9) Elvis Tree Topper: We couldn’t even take this one seriously if it was topping a Christmas tree at Graceland. But a dozen years into the 21st Century, the Elvis craze is still alive and well and worthy of taking the top spot on someone’s Christmas tree. Step aside you angel pronouncing the birth of Christ. Move away Star of David that shines on the manger where the Messiah lay. Make room for the hip-shaking, “Tiny Bubbles” singing crooner from Memphis.
10) The Yodelling Pickle: No matter how much you break it apart, this has nothing to do with Christmas. Yodeling? No. Pickle? No. Yodeling Pickle? No. But nonetheless, it’s an ornament that’s available for sale and is actually selling. There;s really nothing more to say here.
11) Tattoo the Merman: The only thing funnier than the picture of this thing, is the description. “Shirtless, Hot Merman Drinking a Beer with Beard, & Mustache Ornament. Tattoo has Short Black Hair,Detailed Chest & Arm Tattoo, Silver Glittered Tail with Black Tattoo, Rhinestone Belt,Biceps & Wrist Leather Rhinestone Bands & Sexy Hard Muscular Body…. 6 pack Abs,Huge Pecs & Biceps…..7 inches long-Tattoo is a Hand painted & Gift Boxed Limited Edition. Lots of Super Hot Bling!!!!!Tattoo is a Hot Man who wants You!!!” Oh, and Tattoo has lots of other Merman buddies.
12) Most Expensive Ornament on Amazon: Priced at more than $15,000, you have to see this ornament for yourself. If you would spend as much money on a single tree ornament as you would on a brand new car, that is the epitome of tacky. And it is not at all what you would think. No diamonds, no gold, no jewels of any sort. Check it out!
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Copyright © 2012 K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky – Permission granted to use and reproduce with proper source citation.